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Re: Visual Commentary
I thought this was pretty good but it should either go somewhere in terms of a plot or introduce other characters like the nose,ears, cheeks, mouth I don't really know ...
Jun 14, 2011 -
Re: Forgetful.
The dialogue and wording, I thought ws a bit messy and needed to be cleaned up, it should also be made a bit more comedic.
Jun 14, 2011 -
Re: When I Should Be Paying Attention
you probably couldn't give a toss, but I reckon you should make it a comedy poem because with this poem you could. But i still love it and can totally ...
Jun 13, 2011 -
Re: The Last Halloween at Desolate Creek Chapter 1 Revision 1
Just two things: firstly in the first paragraph you said rite instead of right and secondly I think you should build up more suspense at the end of the passage. ...
Oct 10, 2009
